Junk Mail

My wife and I got some junk mail today from a very popular roadside assistance company. I tend to throw all junk mail out, but only after ransacking them for anything of interest. And here it is- the pitch for me to sign up for roadside assistance. Oh, won’t you sign with us? It’s really cheap, and just think of the peace of mind you’ll have! Gee we know how you can’t sleep nights just agonizing over the next time your car breaks down… you know, on the road. Just think how happy you’ll be when you call for our assistance! They didn’t even know what name(s) to put on the envelope, but whoever we were, we were official ‘member elect(s)’ in this grand organization that had only our safety and peace of mind at heart… So I’m throwing papers rapidly into the recycle bin, and the last one says (in imitation handwriting) “About to throw this out? That could be a BIG mistake. Here’s why…” with an arrow pointing to the fold of the paper. Always ready for a good laugh, I open it and proceed to read a supposed appreciation letter from a customer to the very popular roadside assistance company which describes how this customer had just signed up with them because he had read a note from a member who had signed up for membership and had to use the service even before receiving his membership card. And this letter told how the new customer had ‘unbelievably’ locked his keys in his car only days after mailing in his application, and had received nearly instantaneous service from the very popular roadside assistance company even before receiving his membership card!

Uh huh. you can bet that I’m not about to mail in my application. Apparently a percentage of the people who become subscribers to this service immediately acquire a cavalier attitude and start doing stupid things with their vehicles that require availing themselves of the service! I’ll protect myself and my family in the only way I know how: by NOT becoming a member. And hey, it’s less expensive, too. Maybe I’ll write them a letter thanking them for setting me back on the straight and narrow…

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